Broken but Beautiful

I am often known to be inspired from the recent series or movies but this time, though it's a series but it's not a recent one and also another one I can relate to as I may or may not be the victim or criminal of it's subject. 

So, I will start by how I feel I can relate to it so much. The first season came about 3 years ago and initially it seemed to be a general case of a girl not being able to move on from her ex and stalking him everywhere but once the series progresses, it prods on a deeper subject of love and moderation to which very few people can relate to nowadays as now, world is all about casual and temporary relationships which can merely break from just a snap of our fingers.

Although most of us are into "cash" or casual as we call it (yeah we are into actual cash as well), there is still a slim part of this world who still give a lot to their relationships, so much so, that the line of moderation is crossed and they spiral into a world of depression and chaos.

Coming to it, the reasons for this over-compensation are one and the same- the desire to keep the person in their life forever because of past traumas which caused fear of abandonment and in turn caused the need to over-compensate in their efforts.

Well, figures! A lot of people reading this article will say "Get over it", "Value yourself, girl" etc. etc. but alas! If it had been so easy, I wouldn't be writing this.

The problem with us over-compensatory people is that we only know and can only be extremes. We will either be too much in for a person and not in at all and that's a problem, I agree.

But, is there a solution for that? Yes, maybe, works for some people which is therapy. Although, there are friends and family to constantly remind you to love yourself, you need to change that particular wiring in your brain which lets you value other people over yourself and that can be done for some people from therapy (P.S. which is not a taboo).

How did this girl in the series get over it, you ask? She got over it with the help of another guy (obviously, duh, its a series) and in the end she didn't get together with that guy to be with herself for sometime and lo and behold! In the next season, we see her being under-compensatory, like I had earlier pointed out. She knows only extremes, what can she do.

This is definitely not the right approach to deal with our traits and not a realistic one either. Real life is not a movie that the dupatta will get stuck in the shirt's button and you will move on from your ex to another person and start depending on that another person, instead of your ex (classic toxicity).

Although, she did take therapy in the second season but it was more of a narration of sorts which is again demonstrating that therapy isn't useful.

So, I urge you to, you know, talk to someone, someone professional, it will help if that's the correct professional for you (not every therapist is right for you, just like not every wand is for you, Harry!) and do it with an open mind and not some pre-notion that you are crazy or psychology is a joke or whatever. Also, there is no need to be ashamed of it, you don't have to tell somebody you don't want to and if you feel that after you are done with your sessions and you feel fine and you feel you are re-lapsing again, talk again.