A letter to women of the marriageable age

 Dear 20 something women,

While all of you are at different stages of their lives, some might be in college, some working, some married, others with kids, some focusing on their careers, others focusing on their passion, you should all agree to the fact that all of you deserve the best. Some of your family must have bought you up like princesses but some of your family might also have bought to be “adjustable” or be ready to “compromise” but listen to this, it’s not just your job to compromise or adjust, you are not some sofa cum bed which your husband has bought and can choose to turn it into a bed or sofa as per his need. While this practice of making women “adjustable” has been here for ages, it’s time we need some change and who to bring out that change but you. Who will inculcate that change into the society and teach the future generation the same practices but you.

You must be told how pursuing your career is something the guys want you do now because they want you to earn money but they also want a basic housewife who does all the household chores while working full time but why aren’t guys expected to do the same. Why can’t they contribute to house work and why is it such an insulting thing to do for them? Were we bought up by our families to be a servant in somebody else’s house while they just go tow work, come back and relax? Women are really educated nowadays and why is that the education that they do doesn’t matter but how much rotis they can make matter?

While some or most might argue that times have changed now, it’s not the same anymore and they are either the groom part of the family or women who in rarity of cases found the man who contributes equally in the house work. Is it just me or are men the ones who have been in the protected part of family where they have been taught since they were children that it is the “duty” of a women to do house work because even if she is passionate about her job she wants to be financially independent and they are “allowing” us to do so post marriage, it should never hinder the household chores!

It is the pressure of being old and still unmarried which is pushing you into making the wrong choice to settle down with because hear this- the pressure is true. Most women get married for companionship while most, not all men marry for sex and a maid so yes there are men out there who actually want an equal marriage but to have the luxury to wait for them is something not all of you have. With family and relatives pushing you to choose an “okay” choice which is nowhere close to the one you see yourself ending up with in the name of “compromise” is too much pressure and the mental toll it will take on you in the future is something else entirely.

So ladies, while it is okay to adjust and compromise to say 30% but you should wait for the guy who you feel is at least 70% of what you want and who you can live with because nobody is prefect and while adjustment is a way of life, it should be for you and not because you family says you are getting too old or relatives pushing you towards someone who is not even 1/4th up to your standards of the man you want to end up with. You can really have it all and you deserve to have it all.